Iyanla teaches us that in order to forgive, we have to ask ourselves two questions. Who am I, and what do I want to do? It's always easy to focus on what someone did to us because we want to hold onto our anger. We want to stay in pain. Iyanla warns us that too much pain in our lives makes us unconscious. Is what you're holding onto serving you? Is being angry a reflection of who you are? Are you big enough to forgive?