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1, 2, Many Podcast by Timothy Lawson

1, 2, Many Podcast

by Timothy Lawson

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Founder Tim Lawson was inspired to start the 1, 2, Many Project after seeing media coverage of the epidemic of veteran suicide concentrate on the statistics rather than the human beings caught inside the crisis. As a veteran and a survivor of suicidal behavior, Tim wanted to change the conversation to engage the broader community in proactive solutions. The overarching conclusion from his interviews with survivors, friends and family who have lost loved ones to suicide, and medical professionals is that through empathy, mentorship, and repurposing, we can help each other.


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 Podcast Website:
http://www.One2ManyProject.com

080: "Standing on my Story" feat Timothy Jones, MST survivor


Fri, Jul 15, 2016


Timothy Jones is a good friend of mine and has been on the podcast before. He was originally on 1, 2, Many in 2014 to tell his friend's story. In that episode, Tim breifly mentioned his own struggles but never admitted being suicidal. Since then, Tim has healed and accepted his past. Now he's ready to share that part of his story.

Tim was raped by a Marine when he was serving in Japan. That event led to a self-destructive lifestyle and a couple suicide attempts.

"I wanted to hurt. I needed to feel."

Listen to Tim's story and comment below with how it makes you feel. Let him know you appreciate him sharing his story. You can also let him know on Twitter @Timothy_M_Jones.



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079: I've Been There and Now I'm Here (Momentary Reflections)


Thu, Mar 31, 2016


To all my friends, family, fans, peers, comrades, acquaintances, enemies, strangers and people I simply don't like:
 
I'm here for you.
 
I'm not just here if you want to talk about your problems. I'm here if you need to dig deep. I'm here if you need to bleed it out while someone else is in the room to experience the pain with you.
 
We can talk about what you're going through. We can talk about my experiences.
 
You can ask the questions. Or you can let me ask them. Maybe we'll pull questions from the Internet. We can call a hotline together or we can shut off our phones and sit in silence. You can even tell me you don't need to talk and that everything is OK, even if it isn't true. What's important is you let me be here, and that you understand that I'm here.
 
Because it doesn't matter if you're a veteran or not. I understand, in some capacity, what you're going through.
 
I've been to the figurative ledge. I've had the literal pills in my stomach. I've threatened suicide as a cry for help. I've held the cold barrel against my temple as I cried.
 
I've been there, and now I'm here.


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078: New research from National Center for Veterans Studies feat Dr. Craig Bryan (Air Force)


Wed, Mar 23, 2016


Dr. Craig Bryan from the National Center for Veterans Studies at the University of Utah joins the podcast yet again. 

Dr. Bryan was featured on the show at the beginning of the project to share his insight on veteran suicide, PTSD, and trauma related behavior. He's back to discuss what he and his peers have discovered through research in a recent publication.

Listen in as he explains what the study shows and how it can help treat veterans mental health.



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077: Suicide is the Last Thing I Want to do featuring Anthony Pavelko


Wed, Mar 02, 2016


I came across Anthony Pavelko on Facebook. I saw him mention his son's suicide. When I asked him to join me on the podcast, I was honored that he accepted.

Anthony's story and feelings are powerful. He talks about what it takes to face guilt, depression, and regret.

Before Anthony and I started our conversation, his chaplain came on and told me how much this interview meant to Anthony. I'm truly humbled to be able to provide a platform for these stories and give an outlet for this community.

Please, let us know if you can resonate with Anthony's story in the comments below or on Twitter:

@One2ManyProject

@TimLawson21



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076: Reach out for Your Lifelines feat Michael LeBuhn (Army)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


I met Michael LeBuhn in Orlando at the Student Veterans of American National Conference.

He attended my early morning session on suicide, and we both got along immediately. During the session, it was clear from his comments that he had experienced suicidal behavior himself. I offered him a chance to tell his story and he came through.

In this podcast you’ll hear about a book Michael is a part of. For more on that book, check out the website: http://www.heartofaveteran.com/

For those of you subscribed in iTunes: we changed the feed back in January and it will be current with all of the episodes on March 1.



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075: Fighting Depression and Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail feat Zack Starr (Navy)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


Navy veteran Zack Starr hiked the Pacific Crest Trail to find himself and heal his emotional wounds.

Listen to his story about fighting depression, battling an injury, and recovering from it all.

 



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074: I Want to be Proud of Myself featuring Alex Gutierrez (Marine)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


Alex Gutierre is a Marine Corps veteran that is currently battling emotinoal health issues. Alex was involved in a motorcycle accident that took the life of his passenger and put him in a month long coma.

Alex describes his life and emotional state following the accident and where it stands now. This story is unique to the program as Alex admits that this is a current issue for him and one he is trying to overcome.

Let us know what you think of this week’s story by tweeting us:

@One2ManyProject (Podcast)

@TimLawson21 (Host)

@LawsonEntertain (Production)



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073: You Must Disrupt the Silence (Momentary Reflections)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


I have experienced the deathly presence of silence too many times. For many people, including myself, peace and quiet is enjoyable. Unfortunately, when you’re experiencing emotional health issues, silence is like an assassin. Your head will struggle to make sense of the way you feel, and silence will step in to kill.

This should be considered in two ways.

The first applies to when you are silent during a time of need.

Many of the ad campaigns, memes, PSAs, and hashtags encourage you to reach out. Society wants you to speak up. Rightfully so, since there’s very little anyone can do when they don’t know something needs to be done.

To finish, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/Ep73



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072: Learning from Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1 featuring Ellen Goosenberg Kent


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


This week’s story comes from Ellen Goosenberg Kent. Ellen is the Oscar winning director of Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1. If you have not seen this documentary, I highly recommend it. You can watch it on HBO or on Amazon here.

Ellen talks with Tim about the creation of the Oscar winning documentary Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1 and what she learned about the hotline services. This appropriately follows last week’s episode when Marine veteran Luis Tenezacamora shared his experience with calling a hotline.

Let us know what you think of this week’s story by tweeting us:

@One2ManyProject (Podcast)

@TimLawson21 (Host)

@LawsonEntertain (Production)



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071: The suicide I’m trying hardest to prevent is my own (Momentary Reflections)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Hashtags are made, inspiring pictures are shared, and hope is strong. On this day, we come together as a society and recognize that suicide is a serious issue.

On a day that my efforts are especially recognized, I still know the suicide I’m trying hardest to prevent is my own.

Much like an alcoholic, I still identify myself as someone with a problem. I still admit I’m at risk for suicidal behavior. I haven’t attempted suicide in nearly a decade. I haven’t felt the urge to end my life in a few years. I’ve quickly addressed and pushed through my spurts of depression. Yet, I recognize that deep in my psyche, there’s a risk.

I’ve recently become anxious about this risk as I look towards the future. I hope to graduate from American University in May. People ask me, “What will you do when you graduate” or “do you have a job lined up?” Even worse, they tell me, “I know you’ll do great things.”

To finish, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/ep71



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070: “It’s OK to be a bitch” featuring Luis Tenezacamora (Marine)


Tue, Mar 01, 2016


Luis Tenezacamora is a Marine Corps veteran. I served with him briefly in Moscow.

A while back, I made a Facebook status asking for insight on calling a crisis hotline. Luis messaged me with highlights of his experience. He had good things to say, so I asked him if he’d come onto the podcast to talk about it. He obliged.

Along with his decision to call a hotline, Luis shares with us…:

  • His personal emotional health issues
  • Drinking problems
  • Seeking counseling
  • How his brother came to his aid
  • Why it’s OK to “be a bitch”

Let us know how you feel about his story by interacting with us on Twitter:

@One2ManyProject

@TimLawson21 (host)

If you’d like to share your own story on the program, email me: lawson@lawsonentertainment.com



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069: Don’t be a Passive Aggressive Activist in a Lawn Chair (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


There’s a picture floating around the Internet of a gentleman sitting in a lawn chair.

This man, in his lawn chair, is holding up two signs. Each says, “23 American Veterans commit suicide every day. No One Cares. 1 lion gets killed and the country is in an uproar.”

Saying “no one cares” about any veterans issues – or any issues for that matter – is absurd and completely false. People use this erroneous exaggeration to emphasize their point, but it’s insulting.

“No one cares” is a slap in the face to the millions of people putting forth whatever effort they can to provide veterans with the care they need.

I care. I care a lot about the veterans that are killing themselves each day. I care a lot about the community and how torn down we’ve been with labels of PTSD and suicide. I care deeply that news covers our issues because the outrage and patriot complex persuades people to share and click. I care so passionately about finding a solution to the problem (much more than our subject in his lawn chair).

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/ep69



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068: The Law Enforcement Perspective of Responding to a Suicide Crisis


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


This week’s episode of 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide features a Navy veteran that explains to us what it’s like to respond to a suicide crisis. The images he describes are very graphic and his thoughts on being a “burden” may be considered insensitive, but I think his perspective and experience are worth sharing.

As always:

RESPECT my guests
Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
Share this with those you feel would benefit
Be sure to take something from each episode
What do you think of this story? Join the conversation on Twitter:

@One2ManyProject (podcast)

@TimLawson21 (host)



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067: Attack the Weakness (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Hodgkins.

It was my senior year of high school. Oddly enough, it was the perfect time for me to go through this. My body was strong enough to endure the drugs but new enough to get a clean start when it was all over.

Since my bout with cancer, I have done a pretty good job of staying healthy. I do not get sick very often. Occasionally, my chest will get congested or I'll deal with a stuffy nose for a day, but I'm never more than "under the weather."

Over the past decade, I have taken on a stronger defense against illness. When I wake up feeling symptoms, I attack them immediately. I do everything I can to clear out my system, replenish nutrients, and maintain rest, hydration, and activity.

And it works.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/ep67



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066: Vets’ Lives Matter – in honor of Daniel Demaio – featuring Robb Novotny


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Robb Novotny is our guest this week. He’s a Marine Corps veteran and would like to share Dan Demaio’s story. Dan served with Robb and took his own life just a few years ago. Robb describes the events – good and bad – leading up to Dan’s death and how it affected him moving forward.

Robb recently dedicated a hike from Quantico to New York for his friend Dan and started the initiative #VetsLivesMatter. His efforts show updates for fundraising missions aiding awareness to Veteran Suicide, Mental Illnesses, and Homelessness.

Learn more here: https://www.facebook.com/VetsLivesMatter22?fref=ts



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065: 1, 2, Many Project update - TEDx Talk, Call for Guests, Book


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Update from Timothy Lawson and the 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide Project



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064: The Trickle Down Effect of Suicide feat Margy Agar


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Margy Agar has returned to the 1, 2, Many Project to share new information she’s learned about her daughter’s suicide.

Margy first appeared on the podcast last summer and told us about how her daughter was bullied during her time in the military.

From Margy Agar:

Kim was failed epically when she was left to fend for herself at the most vulnerable time of her life. She was hazed, stigmatized, jealousy prevailed with TOXIC LEADERSHIP. Her LTC was forced to retire, albeit NOT from cause of action. Should have been. More heads should have rolled. Her CPT broke HIPPA LAWS, and when she returned from an 11 day stay at Landstuhl she was moved to an isolated floor with no roommate. She asked for a different room because the old room was where she made her first suicide attempt, 9/6/2011, she didn’t want to go back there as it made her sad. She was already depressed, and although had a suicide attempt, and a hospital stay, THEY CHOSE [CPT] TO ISOLATE HER. She did NOT ASK FOR THE FLOOR/ROOM she was given. Her section leader even told me she questioned the Captain’s orders to move her there. THERE WAS NEVER EVER A SUICIDE WATCH.
In fact, from Kim’s CID and LOD, an “unknown social worker” took Kim off of the Suicide Watch the doctor TOLD THE CAPTAIN HE WANTED, AS HE FEARED A RELAPSE. The doctor never knew the social worker did this and he was devastated upon learning of Kim’s death. To this day I still do not know anything that went on during Kim’s 11 days at the Hospital. It makes it all that much harder having the hospital being in Germany.

If you have not heard that episode, you can listen to it here:

One2ManyProject.com/15

If you would like to follow Margy’s efforts and her activist campaign, you can reach her on Twitter: @BOSSYtxmar55

Thank you for taking the time to listen and for reassuring my guests that their stories matter.



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063: Proactively Preventing Suicide (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


This is the draft for the TEDx Talk I gave at TEDxAmericanU in February 2015.



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062: Let’s Keep Talking About Suicide featuring Donleigh Gaunky


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Donleigh Gaunky is an Army veteran and he recently spoke at a TEDx event on veteran suicide.

He was kind enough to join our program and share his experiences with suicidal behavior.

Tim and Don dig deep into where we’re missing a big piece of the conversation on suicide and how some organizations are forgetting a large demographic.

Tweet at us and let us know what you think:

@TimLawson21

@One2ManyProject

@LastBrotherHome



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061: I Still Contemplate Suicide (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


When I started this project a year ago, I decided to share my story first. The first episode released featured myself and John Lee Dumas. John interviewed me on my suicide attempt and the suicide ideation I experienced throughout life.

I think its time for me to be brutally honest with myself and my followers.

I still contemplate suicide.

It has been several years since I stepped to the ledge. I’m confident when I say I currently do not feel the desire to kill myself. I do think about it, though.

I have this goal in life. The goal is to live a free, mobile, comfortable lifestyle. I want to be loved and I want to love. I don’t need all of the money, just enough of it. I want to influence others and have an impact on the world.

When I start to think about the present and consider the trajectory it has into the future, I begin to wonder if I’m on the right path to achieve my goal. As most of you know, I currently live a mobile lifestyle. I do not have my own place. I sublet to get myself by so I can move freely from place to place as I’d like. I designed this life.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/61



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060: Nothing is Going to be the Same featuring Zach Butz


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


This is a unique episode. This week we have Marine Corps veteran Zach Butz.

Zach served with Chris Van Etten, who has been on this program before.

Now, we get to hear Zach’s story and what happened to him after the tragic event in Afghanistan.

This episode speaks on stigma around suicide, emotional health, alcoholism, and more.

“We’re alone, we get overwhelmed, and can’t handle it.”



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059: Love Yourself like your Life Depends On It feat Kamal Ravikant


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Kamal Ravikant is an Army veteran and author of Love Yourself like your Life Depends on it.

His story and his understanding of his story are very powerful.

This episode is full of insight on emotional health and how taking care of yourself first is so important.

You can learn more about Kamal at FounderZen.com and follow him on Twitter:@KamalRavikant

Go to One2ManyProject.com for more episodes and more on the project.



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058: Recovering from Abuse feat Robert Consulmagno (Marine)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Robert Consulmagno is a Marine Corps veteran that has faced a lifetime of abuse. He is very passionate about getting his story heard and wants to inspire other veterans to pick themselves up and move forward to great things.

The spotlighted organization this week is Stop Soldier Suicide. Check out their site to learn more about them:

www.stopsoldiersuicide.org



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057: Speak to those Around You (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


 

We all want to advocate for causes that are important to us.

After all, that is how I started doing this project. I felt a calling to the cause and decided to do what I do best: podcasts.

Shortly after I started this project, I reached out to others to put their skillsets to work. I asked Sean Riorden and Aaron Provost to help with the logos and imagery. I gave them creative control so they could put their own feelings into it.

I asked Marine veteran Chadd Downing to write a song that resonated with my efforts. I told him that it needed to address veteran suicide and let him do the rest.

One of my followers on Twitter volunteered to take my uniforms and use them in an art project.

I want to inspire others to use their creative outlets as a way to address this issue – or any issue.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/57



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056: I Gotta Live feat Chadd Downing (Marine)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Chadd Downing created a song for the 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide project. It is called “Live.”

I decided to bring him onto the podcast to talk about the creative process he experienced making the song and what emotional health means to him.

We’re creating a music video for the song. We hope it will inspire others to use their creative outlet to address this crisis. You can support the Kickstarter here.



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055: No one Cares about Veteran Issues (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


No one cares about veteran issues.

I hear this statement far too often.

Before you get too discouraged by this idea, let me reassure you that it is not true.

There are millions of people that care about the well being of veterans.

Recently, IAVA’s founder, Paul Rieckhoff, was on The Nightly Show. He referenced the Arizona VA scandal and claimed, “no one gave a shit.” I scoffed as soon as I heard it and I felt sorry for every veterans advocate that was watching.

Not only were there people who cared about the scandal, but also that event led to the resignation of Secretary Shinseki and the appointing of current Secretary, Bob McDonald.

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/55-2



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054: How Team Rubicon provided a Renewed Purpose feat Chad Reynolds


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


I’m a huge advocate for Team Rubicon. I have been for a while now. I’ve interviewed both co-founders, Jake Wood and William McNulty. Both guys are super impressive.

One of their staff members gifted me a ticket to the Concert for Valor on the National Mall. During the concert, they showed various videos honoring veterans and veteran organizations. Team Rubicon was one of those organizations. In their video, miliary veteran Chad Reynolds talked about his struggle with emotional health and suicide.

I was moved by Chad’s story and reached out to him immediately. He gave it some though and agreed to join me on 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide.

Chad speaks about getting out of the military, joining the VA, becoming a police officer, and then volunteering for Team Rubicon. The journey he went on to discover a renewed purpose is inspiring and I believe many of you can resonate.

For more information on Team Rubicon, visit their website www.teamrubiconusa.org



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053: Love Can Make You do Crazy Things feat Marc Amatucc


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


This week we hear from an Army veteran, Marc Amatucci. Marc shares the unfortunate circumstance that led to his suicide attempt.



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052: Thank You for the Reminders (Momentary Reflections)


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


“Today, we reached a milestone. I now know more vets who have died due to their own hand than the enemy. Thanks for all you do with this issue, man, but it sometimes seems overwhelming.”

That’s a message that I received last night. Unfortunately, I receive messages like this often.

When someone loses a loved one to suicide – veteran or not – I’ll receive a message.

Sometimes I get updates with a running count. Sometimes they’re admitting their own personal struggles. For some, it’s the first message they’ve ever sent me.

1, 2, Many took a break over winter. I needed to refocus, reorganize, obtain some new material, and get some technical things worked out.

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/52



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Ep51: We’re Not Rocks, We’re People featuring Kevin Leverence


Wed, Feb 17, 2016


Marine veteran Kevin Leverence joins the podcast this week.

Kevin shares his story of depression and suicidal behavior. He also provides insight on the use of a weighted blanket and aroma therapy.



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050: How Time Travel Could Kill You feat James Altucher & John Lee Dumas


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Time traveling is regretting the past and being anxious about the future. John Lee Dumas asks James Altucher how to avoid time travel. James explains his approach and how this type of stressor can be a killer.

New to the project? Start here: One2ManyProject.com/StartHere

Follow us on Twitter: @One2ManyProject @TimLawson21 @JAltucher @johnleedumas



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049: Bad Time to be Strategic (Momentary Reflections)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


I was browsing Facebook the other day, and I read a post in a group for military suicide that scared me.

“I just want to end the pain tonight.”

It was posted the night before, 16 hour prior to me seeing it. A few people had commented with concern. They asked him to agree to not kill himself, but he didn’t respond.

I should have messaged him. I mean, this is what I’m here for, right? I don’t know who this guy is, but his post indicates that he is a suicide risk and that’s what my focus is. So, why haven’t I messaged him yet?

I know what I would say, right? I know how to respond. I can apply everything I have learned and help him mend. So, why haven’t I messaged him yet?

I waited. I waited for the right approach to come to me. But I picked a bad time to be strategic.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/49



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048: Bridging the Divide feat James Altucher


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


James Altucher is a best selling author, investor, and growing influencer in today’s world.

He was kind enough to join me in this episode where we talk about his experiences with suicide, mental & emotional health, brain scans, and much more.

You can reach him on Twitter, Linked In, and at his website.

As mentioned in this episode, check out The Soldiers Project and see how you can get involved with their efforts.

The Soldiers Project provides free counseling to service members of all branches of the military, regardless of discharge status, as well as their loved ones. Our services are free, confidential and unlimited.

Don’t forget to subscribe to 1, 2, Many on iTunes & Stitcher for real-time updates on the latest episodes.

 



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047: Help Us Help You (Momentary Reflections)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


What do you miss most about the military?

Let me guess… camaraderie.

It’s the most popular answer. We all saw it. Service members can be seen drinking together, working together, and supporting one another.

In the Marine Corps, our Physical Fitness Test (PFT) involves a three-mile run. Which is crazy to me now, because I get winded after one mile.

Most Marines I served with could complete their run in 19 to 22 minutes. Of course, there were plenty that fell beyond that time. During many of my PFTs, I would see Marines finish the three miles in 19 or 20 minutes, catch their breath, and then run back to motivate the slower Marines.

It was inspiring. Actions like that are what made it an honor to say I served in the United States Marine Corps.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/47



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046: Not Good Enough feat Jessica Berleen (Navy)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


My good friend, Jessica Berleen, was gracious enough to share her story this week. She shares the story of her stepdad’s suicide that occurred about 10 years ago. Listen in as Jessica recalls the event, how it impacted her, and what she has learned from it.



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045: What to do when Suddenly Depressed? (Q&A)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Tim answers the question:

“What do you do when you’re suddenly depressed?”

One2ManyProject.com/Ask



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044: Reflections from Tim Lawson’s Girlfriend feat. Shannon McAfee (Momentary Reflections)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Tim and I discussed suicide in our first substantive one-on-one conversation. We were wandering around Sea Cliff, New York before the wedding of a mutual friend and somehow it came up. Knowing Tim’s love of off-beat conversation, he may well have orchestrated the topic. Regardless, I shared the story of a friend who killed herself after a long battle with depression and alcoholism. I talked about my belief that as much I disagree with her decision – because of the hurt she caused her family and all of the opportunities for joy that she’s missing – I can’t judge her because I don’t know her demons. In my darkest times, I’ve felt sadness dull my senses and weigh on my shoulders, but in my heart, I was still happy. Depression is the opposite of that. A depressed person can feel happiness at a surface level while in their heart, they are weighted with sadness. That’s a horrible way to live. With that in mind, the only thing I can do is to love my friend in death as I did in life.

Little did I know then that Tim had attempted suicide once upon a time and that my understanding for my friend extended to him.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/44



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043: Just Don’t Do It feat Steve Sxaks


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Army Veteran Steve Sxaks shares his story of depression, homelessness, and suicide.



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042: What’s the One Thing that drives Military Suicide? (Q&A)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Tim answers a question from Quora:

What is the “one thing” that causes American military veterans to commit suicide?



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041: More than Just Memories (Momentary Reflections)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


One day a friend of mine will die.

Later, another will die.

Death is something that we as a species are cursed with knowing. Each death will be sad, but I hope to limit the amount of deaths that bring regret.

Not just the regret of wishing we said more or spent more time, but a regret of knowing I had missed an opportunity to really do something with that person.

I love my friends.

I do not have any siblings and did not grow up around my cousins. So, with two working parents, my friends quickly became my family.

My friends have had a tremendous impact on my life.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/41



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040: Five Times a Survivor feat. Tory Utz (Navy)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Navy veteran Tory Utz joins Tim this week. Tory shares her story of suicidal behavior and what drove her to attempt five different times.



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039: What About Pre-Entry Therapy? (Q&A)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


Tim answers a question brought to him during a presentation:

What if we gave recruits pre-entry therapy to nurture mental and emotional health risks?



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038: Not Everyone Knows & Not Everyone Cares. (Momentary Reflections)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


“Wait, how did he know that?”

This was the immediate response from a student at The Washington Center last night after his classmate correctly answered my question on the number of veteran suicides per day.

I was surprised – not that someone knew the answer but at the challenge to his quick response. I feel like the scale of the crisis, 22 per day, is common knowledge, but I guess not everyone knows.

To me, veteran suicide awareness is booming. I see it all over Facebook and all over Twitter. There are groups and hashtags, events and fundraisers, books, and so much more spotlighting the crisis of suicide among veterans.

To finish the post, go to One2ManyProject.com/38



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037: Being Passionate About the Issue feat. Corey Christman (Air Force)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


My friend Corey joins me this week to discuss investigating suicides and how to address the epidemic inside the veteran space.



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036: Personal Contributions (Q&A)


Sun, Feb 14, 2016


This week Tim takes a different approach to the question “What can I do to help?”

There’s also a song by Chadd Downing.



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035: Virtual Mentors (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Find empathy. Discover renewed purpose. Gain mentorship. Know you matter.

Those are the main points in any of my presentations and they are common themes across this project. They make sense to both veterans and non-veterans. When it comes to true suicide prevention, I believe these to be key.

I’ve noticed a lot of people view mentorship as this sacred bond they feel between themselves and a person with eternal wisdom 20 years their elder.

If that’s a situation you find, then that’s great. Most people can’t find perfect personal mentors. At least, not ones that look perfect on paper. In some communities, it may be difficult to discover a proper fit for you all together. I live in a metropolitan area, so I’m surrounded by opportunities to acquire personal and business mentors. I recognize that many of us do not have these same resources.

However, we do all have access to virtual mentors.

To finish this post, go to One2ManyProject.com/35



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034: Getting Depressed (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


What do you do to avoid the cycle of depression?



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033: The Reality of Transparency (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


“I read your post the other day.”

I hear that often now. Usually it gets followed up with “I thought it was good” or “I’m impressed” or “I think it’s so important that you’re doing this.”

Sometimes people are referring to one of the stories shared on Monday. Usually though, they comment on the discovery of Momentary Reflections.

Episode One was easy for me. It was just another story. It was a time in my past that I’m willing to talk about. Those moments in history that can make us feel vulnerable become liberating once we share it with someone we trust. I trust all of you. I want you to trust me.

A few weeks after the project started, I began writing these short essays. It is my way of getting more material out and allowing myself a time to process my feelings on this subject. It has forced me to be more transparent with everyday life.

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/33



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032: Surviving My Son’s Suicide w/ Andy Weiss


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Andy Weiss joins Timothy Lawson to tell his son’s story. Andy has a lot to say about his son’s service and his passing.



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031: What Do You Do in that State of Mind? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Tim answers a question given to him through his website.

“What do you do when you’re in that state of mind?”

Have a question for Tim? Ask here: One2ManyProject.com/ask



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030: I Still Struggle with This (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


I got into another one of my “funks” recently. This past weekend, I became frustrated with life and started feeling guilty about the past. I’m sure this is something many of you can resonate with.

I want to reiterate a couple points I’ve been making in these momentary reflections: none of this is a quick fix and it is something you’ll battle more than once after you “recover.”

I still struggle with these emotional issues. I’m able to better identify what is going on now, as I mentioned in a previous post, but I still get sucked into the quicksand of doubt, guilt, shame, and woe.

For those of you keeping score at home, you noticed there wasn’t an episode released on Monday. I couldn’t collect my thoughts well enough to finish it and I didn’t want to release something that was forced. I also didn’t want to release a message that supported an idea that I was not implementing myself.

There’s a great story about Gandhi (taken from James Altucher’s blog):

A woman walks with her son many miles and days to come to Gandhi. She is very worried about her son’s health because he is eating too much sugar. She comes to Gandhi and says, “please, sir, can you tell my son to stop eating sugar.”

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/30



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029: Who Should I Support? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Tim gets asked about nonprofits and veteran organizations all the time. He’s mentioned a few in past episodes, but he touches on the four he recommends supporting the most on this week’s show.



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028: A Friendly Reminder (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


I separated from the Marine Corps on September 14, 2011. Like most Marines, I was ready for the relief. I was also nervous. I thought I had a good plan, but I was wrong. A lot has transpired in three years.

Since getting out of the Marine Corps, I’ve been fired from two jobs and quit one. The last job I was fired from was over coffee I wasn’t authorized to drink.

I had a motorcycle stolen from me. It was my only mode of transportation at the time and was stolen days before I was hired to a job that would soon fire me. While I had good coverage, my insurance company informed me that I did not have the right coverage for theft. I was not compensated and had to finance a new vehicle so that I could get myself to my new job.

Since getting out of the Marine Corps, I’ve changed universities three times and changed degree programs another three times.

I lost a good friend over my own insensitivity and a misunderstanding. We still don’t talk.

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/28



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027: We All Have Problems feat Christopher Van Etten (Marine)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


This week Marine veteran and double amputee Chris Van Etten joins Tim Lawson to talk about his struggles with PTSD and a time he considered suicide.

The explosion that took Chris’ legs also took one of his friends. This created an understandable sense of survivor’s guilt.

While he hasn’t attempted suicide, it is definitely something that has crossed his mind.

I always enjoy my conversations with Chris because he is candid and honest. I appreciate his insight on the importance of empathy, purpose, and mentorship.

 Chris has become a fitness model and has been able to use his experiences to his advantage.

If you’re interested in learning more about his story and career, you can follow him onTwitter, Instagram, and Facebook.



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026: Why Would Anyone Listen? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


This week Tim answers the question:

Why would anyone listen to this podcast?



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025: What’s Wrong with Me? (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


I rolled into the weekend without a story ready to release on Monday. Sunday evening came, and I hadn’t made any progress. I woke up Monday morning worrying about getting it done. By the time it was 5pm, I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t in a good space and I didn’t want to force anything. All I needed to do was record my thoughts on the story, but I just couldn’t collect myself. I made an announcement that there would be no story this week and moved on.

I woke up this morning knowing I should still release a “Momentary Reflections” post.  I had a few in the queue and was wondering which post was best for this week. The problem was I woke up later than usual since I couldn’t motivate myself out of bed and still had some academic work that needed to be done (that didn’t get done either).

I have been in a funk for the past few days.

To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/25



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024: Where’s the Activism? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Where is the activism for veteran suicide?



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023: The Iron Rule (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


It wasn’t our weak hand. There was nothing weak about a Marine. My left hand was my support hand. It wasn’t as strong as my right hand, but it could still accomplish tasks.

It seems like semantics, but it truly changed the way I thought about my left hand. I no longer avoided using it during certain tasks, but instead I became selective with how I used it. My right hand still reached for my firearm, my baton, and my pepper spray, but my left grabbed my handcuffs and assisted me in detaining a subject.

My first job out of the Marine Corps was Loss Prevention at Macy’s. I was not thrilled with it, but I remember in my interview my employer asked me about my “opportunities.” I was confused. He followed up with a brief explanation. He considered the flaws, downfalls, and weaknesses of a person’s character to be “opportunities.” To him, these opportunities were areas of our lives that had the most opportunity to improve.

At first, I thought it was cheesy, and I occasionally scoffed at the idea, but he made a good point.  I tend to focus on the strengths in my life. I’m not one to really improve my weaknesses, but I do see them differently after that interview.

To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/23



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022: Don’t Want to be a Burden (Navy)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


This week we hear a story of a woman’s grandfather taking his own life. He was a Navy veteran.



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021: Where’s the Media Attention? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Timothy Lawson takes on a popular question in the military community:

 Where is the media attention?



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020: Finding Peace (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


What does it mean to truly prevent suicide?

I’ve been asked this question plenty of times and I’ve thought about it ten fold. Having this project focus on veteran suicide benefits us in two ways. First, we can better understand the tribulations of our fellow veterans and honor their stories through this programming. Second, we can pick up on the military specific situations and how to best address them, while still applying what we understand to struggles with suicide within the wider population.

I believe a lot of people who do not understand depression or PTSD or suicide will put all of these on a scale of happy to sad. Happy being a place where suicide is never considered, sad being a place where such suicidal behavior begins.

I’m sure many of us who have been there or have seen someone get to that dark place even think of it as being “okay” and “not okay.”

The opposite of depression, PTSD, suicide, or stress is not happiness or “being okay.” It’s peace. So, to combat these problems, we should avoid the rewiring and pursuit of happiness, but rather be in search of peace.

For the rest of this post, tune into the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/20



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019: What’s the Greatest Response the Project Has Received? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Tim answers two questions:

– What is the best response you’ve received for the project?
– What is the worst response?

Tune in!



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018: I Matter to Someone (Momentary Reflection)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


I’ve had hundreds of conversations about suicide. Possibly even thousands, if you count any discussion I had before I started this project. It’s not something I’ve been trying to figure out, but something I’ve been trying to understand.

This project has taught me so much about suicidal behavior. I’ve heard so many different accounts of this dark subject. Through conversation and ponder, I’ve been able to hone in on the three ideas that I believe can best derail suicidal behavior: empathy, purpose, and mentorship. There is one more idea that I’ve realized in the past month that I’ve just now gotten the words to describe.

You have to matter to someone.

For the rest of this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/18



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017: Healing Process feat Timothy Jones (Navy)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Navy veteran Timothy Jones shares with us this week. Tim tells us about how a fellow shipmate was hazed for being gay and how it led to his suicide. This story shows us how hazing can be dangerous when dealt out in a milicious manner.

Timothy goes on to talk about his own personal struggles. He endured an assault during his Navy career and has been in a healing process ever since.

Resource: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255



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016: How Can Religion Help? (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Tim answers a few more questions this week:

– How can religion fulfill a new purpose?
– How has the rate changed with so many vets coming home?
– How can we see the signs?



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015: Remember, I Love You w/ Margy Agar (Gold Star Mom)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Margy Agar, a Gold Star Mom, tells her daughter’s tragic story of bullying in the military and suicide.



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014: Find Someone They Look Up To (Q&A)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


Weekly Q & A:

Tim answers another question from the audience. This week’s question actually comes from his first speaking appearance at the American Legion Auxiliary conference in Washington DC. Click the play button above to hear his response. His full presentation is in the video below.

Summarized: What should a family do if they can’t seem to communicate or reach out to a family member having troubles

If you’d like to submit a question for next week. Comment on Facebook or tweet at me: @One2ManyProject or @TimLawson21



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013: Your Worst is YOUR Worst (Momentary Reflections)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


I sit here in the wake of Robin Williams’ suicide wondering what I could add that others already haven’t. As much as I try to avoid news-jacking, the conversation that surrounded Williams’ death fits the point I’m making today.

I want to start this flow of thought with a line from the song Follow Your Lead by Joe Budden. Joe is one of my favorite artists and I seem to resonate with so many of his lyrics.

“Always say I’ve been through worse, what if I haven’t?”

A number of responses to Robin Williams’ suicide wondered how could someone so funny, successful, and wealthy get to such a dark place. Well, anyone that has suffered through depression will tell you it has no boundaries. Depression does not check your resume, bank account, or the amount of “Likes” on your Facebook page before it sets in. Once it gets to you, its not an emotion that turns on and off from outside stimulus like happiness, sadness, and anger. In fact, it is possible to experience a burst of happiness while still being depressed. Your conscious mind can experience the happiness while your sub-conscious is still attached to the depression. Another song by Joe Budden (excuse me while I fan boy a bit in this essay) talks about how depression becomes a part of your psyche and communicates to you:

Go to One2ManyProject.com/13 for the rest of the post.



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012: Do What You Can & Take Action w/ Antonio Centeno (Marine)


Sat, Feb 13, 2016


We have the honor of sharing two stories this week. Antonio Centeno, a Marine, shares the accounts of a fellow Marine’s suicide as well as his sister’s. Its the first time we’ve gotten a story regarding suicide from the perspective of a veteran losing a non-service member.



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011: What Should the Military Do? (Q & A)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Weekly Q & A:

Tim answers a few questions that have come up recently. One from a podcast he was featured on and the other two from a live session he gave at The Washington Center.

~What are a few trends you see in these conversations?
~What should be done in the military?
~How can we help you past listening & sharing?

If you’d like to submit a question for next week. Comment on Facebook or tweet at me: @One2ManyProject or @TimLawson21



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010: Missing Out Now Means Regretting It Later (Momentary Reflections)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Death is something I contemplate. I think about what it would mean for me to die. Not just in suicide, but in general. I also ponder the deaths of friends, family, and others around me. I simply wonder what it would be like to experience the news of that person dying and the implications it would have on my life.

Of course, I don’t want to die, and I definitely don’t want my friends or family to. Its just a part of my nature to think about these things.

If I’m in the “right mood” for it, I won’t even be sad. Even if I start tearing up, I’m not sad but rather experiencing the emotions. It helps me work through the realities of how I would feel should that event occur. I gain a better understanding for what is important to me and how I value the relationships around me.

My father is a great example. He was in the Navy, which means he was deployed a lot. There are plenty of moments in my childhood that I can remember him being around for, and there are plenty when my mother was only parent present. We argued, we laughed, we were a father and son. I can’t recall any life changing advice or profound guidance he provided, but I do know that who I am today includes a part of me influenced by my dad.

Go to One2ManyProject.com for the rest of this post and be sure to listen to the podcast.



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009: Strong Enough to be Weak feat Mylee Cardenas


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Mylee Cardenas is a soldier, cancer survivor, sexual assault survivor, and a single mom. She joins us today to share a story about a friend of hers who committed suicide.

Mylee talks about the stigma of PTSD, suicide, and depression in the military. She also explains how her friend suffered from the worst demons and couldn’t see past his anxieties.

In the reflections, I talk about how “Here for you” is something that needs to be defined and explained. There is also talks on how its important to push through the stigma of suicide.



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008: End the Pain feat Andrew O’Brien (Army)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Army veteran Andrew O’Brien joins me this week to share his story. Andrew saw a traumatic scene during his deployment – one that he was instructed not to seek out – and it stayed with him long after his deployment was over. Andrew talks about his battle with PTSD, depression, emotional pain, his attempt, and what it all means to him now.



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007: Simple Things Save Lives w/ Dr. Craig O’Brien (Air Force)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


This episode takes a “lighter” approach the to subject of suicide as we talk to Dr. Craig Bryan about treatments, diagnosing PTSD, suicide as it relates to sexual trauma, and more.

I think it is good for all of us to take a short break from the emotional taxing stories that are so important and powerful for us to hear. Episode 8 will continue these brave stories again.

For more information on Dr. Bryan, check out his bio at the University of Utah Veteran Studies Center: http://www.psych.utah.edu/people/person.php?id=265



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006: Learn from your Tragedies


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Anonymous Army Veteran shares another powerful story involving a friend of his. Although he lost his friend to suicide, he was able to learn from the experience and save another life.



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005: The Selfishness of Suicide feat KC Sivumaki (Marine)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Originally aired: July 8, 2014

This week’s episode brings us Sgt of Marines KC Sivumaki. KC talks to me about getting injured in Ramadi and the challenges of the physical and mental recovery. He found himself feeling like a burden to his family and attempted suicide. Fortunately, he was unsuccessful and is here to share his experience.

Also, Ron Garner, a Marine vet, explains some challenges faced by service members when adjusting after deployment.

Is suicide selfish? Some people believe so. Personally, I believe its more selfish to accuse someone of beings selfish when they display suicidal behavior. I speak more on this in the reflections.

I want to reiterate a few points made at the beginning of the show:

  • RESPECT my guests
  • Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
  • Share this with those you feel would benefit
  • Be sure to take something from each episode

This project has reached success because of my Kickstarter supporters and sponsors. This week’s sponsor is Veteran Empire, a veteran founded and veteran focused apparel company.

Courage Beyond is my resource for the week: Team Red, White, & Blue

Thank you for listening to this program. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Please contact me if you have any questions, feedback, suggestions, or would like to get involved.



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004: Reaching out is Scary feat David Peters (Marine)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Episode four features Marine veteran David Peters. David was a Marine Security Guard posted in Bratislava when he was prepared to kill himself. Luckily, a phone call home and some inner courage got him into the embassy nurse’s office to get the help he needed. Its been an uphill battle for him since then, but he finds himself in a good spot in life and has willingly come forward to share his story with us.

Dr. Craig Bryan, at the University of Utah Veteran Studies Center, chimes in at the end to touch self sacrifice and other self reliance values inside the military.

I want to reiterate a few points made at the beginning of the show:

  • RESPECT my guests
  • Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
  • Share this with those you feel would benefit
  • Be sure to take something from each episode

This project has reached success because of my Kickstarter supporters and sponsors. This week’s sponsor is the Emotion Vitality Assistant, a veteran founded and veteran focused apparel company.

My resource for the week: Small Unit Leadership.  Squad Leaders, team leaders, and other leaders inside a smaller unit can be a great resource for guidance and empathy.

Thank you for listening to this program. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Please contact me if you have any questions, feedback, suggestions, or would like to get involved.



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003: Ripple Effect of Suicide w/ Mark Wade


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Originally Aired: June 23, 2014

We’re already three weeks into this project and I’m getting amazing feedback. Thank you to everyone taking the time to listen and share these stories. Episode Three includes a story from a Marine veteran about his friend who took his own life inside his barracks room.

First, I want to reiterate a few points made at the beginning of the show:

  • RESPECT my guests
  • Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
  • Share this with those you feel would benefit
  • Be sure to take something from each episode

Secondly, this project has reached success because of my Kickstarter supporters and sponsors. This week’s sponsors are the two graphic designers who have helped design my logo and the graphics you see floating around the site & social media: Aaron Provost andSean Riordan.

Marine veteran Mark Wade joins me this week.  He shares his experience involving a suicide.  He found a fellow Marine dead in his barracks room.  Mark is very straight forward about how he felt at the time, and how he feels about it now looking back.

This is a conversation between two Marines about a suicide inside the Marine Corps. Let this be an example of how these conversations, while still unpleasant, do not have to be dark and depressing.  We can discuss how these events make us feel and our opinion on how the military and our communities should respond to them.

I hope you become inspired to talk with your friends and family about a suicide in your life and discuss how your community can help others suffering through emotional and mental torment.

Thank you for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Please contact me if you have any questions, feedback, suggestions, or would like to get involved.



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002: Fight Together, Recover Together feat Zachary Bell (Marine)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Originally Aired: June 16, 2014

Episode Two is here.  This episode includes a story from a Marine veteran about his friend who took his own life.  We also hear a couple minutes about suicidal signals from Dr. Tracy Clemansat University of Utah.

First, I want to reiterate a few points made at the beginning of the show:

  • RESPECT my guests
  • Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
  • Share this with those you feel would benefit
  • Be sure to take something from each episode

Secondly, this project has reached success because of my Kickstarter supporters and sponsors. This week’s sponsor is Oscar Mike, a veteran founded and veteran focused apparel company.

The second episode of the 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide project features Zachary Bell of Courage Beyond. Zach joins me to recount the story of his friend committing suicide. The story is well told and Zach’s reflections on his circumstance are moving.

This episode is important as it shows us how important it is to talk with each other and realize we’re not alone in our struggles.  Zach admits he was having his own issues at the time of his friend’s death, and that maybe there would have been a different ending had he opened up to his friend and admitted it.

Still, Zach went on to join Courage Beyond and become an influential person within the veteran space and the road to recovery.  After my remarks, Dr. Clemans explains how 80% of suicidal people will show signs.

Courage Beyond is my resource for the week: CourageBeyond.com

Thank you for listening to this second episode. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Please contact me if you have any questions, feedback, suggestions, or would like to get involved.



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001: This Too Shall Pass featuring John Lee Dumas (Army)


Thu, Feb 04, 2016


Originally Aired: June 8, 2014

We have finally begun. The project that everyone has been waiting to release is finally here. Before I get into this first episode, I want to thank everyone who has supported my efforts and has patiently waited for this.

I want to reiterate a few points made at the beginning of the show:

  • RESPECT my guests
  • Do NOT call them out if they’ve chosen to be anonymous
  • Share this with those you feel would benefit
  • Be sure to take something from each episode

Secondly, this project has reached success because of my Kickstarter supporters and sponsors. This week’s sponsor is Saxon/Hart, an organization using makeovers to help individuals rediscover their beauty.

I wanted to start this project with a display of leadership.  I wanted to show that I’m willing to talk about this subject and share my story before I expected anyone else to.  In order to best tell my story, I wanted to bring on a competent host to guide the conversation.  So, I invited Army veteran John Lee Dumas, host of Entrepreneur on Fire, to join me.  I gave John just a few questions to base his portion of the discussion on, and he did the rest (and nailed it).

Suicide is something that has haunted me for a lot of my life. I have contemplated it a few times and have wondered my philosophy behind it. Fortunately, I have been able to survive and pull through with empathy, mentorship, and renewed purpose.  I dive into each of these concepts in my own story in this episode, and you’ll notice that they become a theme across the project.

I quote my mother in this episode, and I think it best sums up the message of this episode:

“This too shall pass”

Those words have been true every time she has said them to me, and its important to remember when facing adversity.

Thank you for listening to this first episode. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Please contact me if you have any questions, feedback, suggestions, or would like to get involved.



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