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John Gray Explains Why Mars and Venus Collide


Free Resource (#674) - October 23rd, 2008
Today's Free Resource

John Gray: Why Mars and Venus Collide

In this talk from Book Passage, bestselling relationship book author John Gray talks about his latest book Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress. Gray describes biological and psychological differences in men and women that show how they differently deal with stress. He points to ways that stress can be reduced through relationships and by recognizing the differences in what causes men and women stress. This talk is available on streaming video from FORA.tv.

John Gray: Why Mars and Venus Collide

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The Many Levels of Mars and Venus

John Gray and Ken Wilber explore the integral model and how it can be applied to gender and relationship issues. The four quadrants (I/We/It/Its) include the personal, cultural, and social realities of a situation, and developmental psychology looks at the interior levels of growth in individuals. The four quadrants—All-Quadrant—and developmental psychology—All-Level—come together to form the core of the AQAL or integral model.

There are four primary levels or stages of development influential in the world today (though more exist), and each has a different perspective on the question of gender. A traditional (mythic) perspective often creates strict roles and responsibilities along the gender line. Any notion of differences between genders is therefore used in a way that supports the ideal of eternally fixed roles for men and women, any deviation from which is often thought to be sinful. A modern (rational) perspective cares less about gender differences than what a person, man or woman, can create, inspire, and achieve. A person either performs or they don't—why complicate things with outdated ideas about men and women? A postmodern (pluralistic) perspective views all gender differences as culturally created and therefore quite open to being changed (and conversely, any fixed roles or differences, of any sort, are seen as a source of social oppression). According to this view, men and women are fundamentally the same, and any attempt to say otherwise is a regressive slide to conservative, fundamentalist values. And finally, an integral or comprehensive perspective recognizes that all approaches hold a piece of truth and must be honored. But not all truths are equal, and so one seeks to weave a tapestry of increasing care and concern, where greater wholeness is the pattern seen throughout.

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The Many Levels of Mars and Venus

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